Where do you expend your energy?

It’s a question that really puzzles many and baffles the brains of those who wish they could discover their mission.

Do you spend up to eight hours a day in a job that keeps you in survival mode or do you spend all your waking hours doing what you truly love?

The reason we’d rather be in survival mode is the guarantee of a salary, right? Or you’d be doing what you love but not earning anything at all because you know it just wouldn’t feel like work. You won’t be setting goals, getting up before sunrise to sit in traffic for an hour. All of which justifies your existence. Or does it?

If you made the decision to write for eight hours a day, you’d be looking for a guarantee that a certain number of people would be buying your books; that a grand sum of money would be deposited in your bank account on a certain date to guarantee your financial security. And – you’d want a guarantee that you’d never starve or want for anything again.

But where would those guarantees come from? I’ve been told from within but I am yet to master this concept. I would love to believe that I can have everything go my way any time. I’ve had small successes from time to time but nothing major. For example, I work for a software company selling a payment facility. Two years’ ago I was selling a booking calendar for the same company but things didn’t work out with the sales manager at the time and I was redeployed to another sales office. I was peeved but promised myself I’d return to that office. Today I was given the news that I’d be returning there.

Now, If I can do that, surely I could have bigger successes but the challenge is that I spend eight hours a day working at my day job, putting all my energy into being a better employee, mastering skills that people half my age regard as a big deal.

I need time to figure it out but come home wasted, spent, too tired to do anything but watch television for two hours, then fall asleep. I am not alone in the quest for a higher existence. This is most peoples’ routine and every day we hope for better but slip into the routine of mediocrity so easily.

Send me feedback about your ambitions and failures.

I can’t believe it myself

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been eight months since I posted anything here. Have I been so busy or just lazy? I have been battling exhaustion and sometimes I forget to top up my iron, So I went out at lunch-time to find a goodish iron supplement that won’t break the bank and bought it off the shelf. Normally, I would go to the pharmacy and only buy on good advice but I bought what I believe to be a good local brand of iron, including vitamin B and C.

I’ve been working non-stop through the duration of lockdown, first from home for two solid months then when it became too uncomfortable, asked if anyone was returning to the office. It turned out only one other person was in the same predicament and so the office remained off limits until 9 other people requested to return.

So out of 108 staff, 10 work from the office each in their own safe space with cleaning staff constantly disinfecting, all masked up and staying at arm’s length – at least. At lunch-time, we sit in the sun at appropriate distances away from each other and those who don’t feel too well to come to work have been advised to stay home until they feel 100%.

So, there’s been very little time to write, except weekends when I need to catch a breather and pay the dog some attention. Although I still wake up at 03h20 each morning, it is just too much effort to get up to write, especially since the heavy rain and freezing cold. Occasionally, I will throw something over my shoulders to stay warm, but it is not a habit anymore.

I did manage to update some covers on Amazon, but still not fully satisfied as it is apparently very important to many readers to make an effort to provide a cover that is reasonably attractive. I, personally, don’t care what a cover looks like, having read coverless books retrieved out of dust bins and pulled apart, only to find the book not as interesting as one would expect of a book without a cover. Covers often over-promise or are completely unrelated to the story within.

My favourite self-written book is titled Come Over and the cover bears an image of a cracked window, although the break-in didn’t happen via a window. It is symbolic of a break-in and promises a murder mystery, suspense, heart-ache and a family secret. In addition, it is not a heavy read but takes the reader on a journey beyond this life to find answers. So a little paranormal will interest the reader who seeks answers about life after death.

Hope you catch a peek as it is on promotion currently.